thetendertroll:

mageofbloodandhope:

golgothas-horrorterror:

squidmama:

flipitturnways:

SHUT UP.

BECAUSE WHILE YOU WERE BUSY COMPLAINING, TWO PLOT-RELEVANT, NON-SHIPPY THINGS JUST HAPPENED IN THAT UPDATE, AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE.

FIRST: ROXY TELLS JAKE THAT SHE THINKS THAT SOMEONE IS IN HER HOUSE, AND THEN SHE SUDDENLY SIGNS OFF. HMM SUSPICIOUS. AND SO VERY PLOT-RELEVANT. MAYBE IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH CROCKERCORP. YOU KNOW, ONE OF THE PRIMARY ANTAGONISTS OF HOMESTUCK AND THUS CENTRAL TO THE PLOT.

SECOND: BROBOT IS THERE RIPPING OUT HIS HEART IN THE BACKGROUND. WHILE YES, THIS COULD BE SEEN AS JUST MORE PETTY ROMANTIC STUFF, IT ALSO MEANS THAT JAKE NOW FINALLY HAS THE URANIUM NECESSARY TO FINISH JOHN’S PRESENT. YOU KNOW, THE THING THAT IS AT LEAST PARTIALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR BEC NOIR’S RISE TO POWER, ANOTHER PRIMARY ANTAGONIST OF HOMESTUCK. ALSO, PERHAPS INTERACTION BETWEEN THE ALPHA AND BETA SESSIONS NOW?

ALSO, WERE YOU GUYS ASLEEP OR SOMETHING DURING PRINCE OF HEART: RISE UP, BECAUSE DANG THAT WAS SOME SEXY PLOT PROGRESSION RIGHT THERE. DIRK POSSIBLY STARTED A DERSITE UPRISING LIKE WV DID IN THE BETA SESSION AND I THINK THE EMPRESS (NOW CONFIRMED TO BE THE NEW BLACK QUEEN) JUST TOLD DD TO “DEAL WITH” DIRK.

SO PLEASE STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT THE LACK OF YOUR PRECIOUS PLOT, BECAUSE IT IS RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF YOU, WEARING ITS SEXIEST NIGHTGOWN, AND YOU FAIL TO GIVE THE AMOUNT OF FUCKS YOU CLAIM TO GIVE BECAUSE YOU, IRONICALLY, CAN’T STOP FOCUSING ON ALL THE ROMANTIC STUFF GOING ON.

GOD DAMN.

GOD DAMN.

thank you

THANK YOU.

In other words, THE SHIPPING WAS A DISTACTION……